


I have crossed the horizon

by Like_A_Dove



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo is his father's son, F/M, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Good Boy Ben Solo, a TROS fix it fic made up of interconnected AU oneshots because I'm HURTING, look at me JJ Abrams I'm the captain now, there will be character death in some of these alternate timelines but I promise a HEA, tros spoilers galore, you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Like_A_Dove/pseuds/Like_A_Dove
Summary: **TROS SPOILERS**A mourning Rey goes into The World Between Worlds in order to find the timeline where she and Ben Solo are happy.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 124
Kudos: 504
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hurting and have been simmering in anger since I read the TROS spoilers and saw the film over the past few days. This is me answering the call of "Fix It For the Love of God".
> 
> Also the first tag isn't wholly accurate as each "oneshot" AU will probably play out over a couple of chapters, but it was the first tag and I didn't feel like deleting all the others to change it, so.

The edge of the wood is completely undisturbed; no wind to rustle the leaves on the trees, no creatures to utter any sounds. And yet…

Rey can hear the whispers. Voices carrying to her on a nonexistent gale. Some are familiar, others are not.

_ “The Force is what gives a Jedi their power…” _

_ “To say that if the Jedi die, the light dies, is vanity…” _

_ “You have no place in this story You come from nothing. You’re nothing…” _

She swallows at the last voice, can finish the rest of it’s sentiment inside her own head.

Rey nods. “This is the place,” she breathes out, not daring to speak any louder. This place is haunted, powerful. She knows intrinsically that going inside will pose a great risk to herself. In fact it’s very likely that she will...

The person next to her sighs, shifts closer to her.

“For the millionth time, Rey, I don’t like this.” Finn rests a hand on her shoulder, eyes peering past her head to the wood.

She wonders what voices the Force is allowing him to hear. If she knows anything about the Force, it’s that it speaks differently to everyone according to what they need. Finn’s apprehension toward her entering the wood is understandable; the Force does not have a place for him inside The World Between Worlds.

But it has been calling to Rey every night for the past two years. She has poured over the Jedi texts, she has absorbed all the information on this place that she can find. And that’s why she is here on Lothal. The Force has called her to this place for a reason.

Another voice twists out of the wood.

_ Be with me. _

Rey clears her throat and takes a step forward before hesitating. She removes her lightsaber from her utility belt and hands it to Finn, who’s alarm is growing increasingly pungent in his Force signature.

His clasp on her shoulder tightens. “Rey, I get that I’m—I’m still new at all this. I’m still learning but…” He gazes out toward the wood again. “But if you go in there…” He struggles to say it, voice cracking on the next words. “But if you go in there, you’ll die.”

And they both know it is true. She will not come out the same, if she comes out at all. So she pulls her best friend into a hug, clutches him to herself tightly.

She smiles at him softly when she finally pulls away. “We’ll see each other again. I believe that.” She presses her saber against his chest. “Keep this safe for me. And thank you for coming with me, for helping me find this place.”

Finn swallows, eyes glassy. There’s a hint of frustration in his gaze too, and Rey suspects that if she were Poe or Rose or Jannah he would have bodily picked her up and forcibly removed her from this situation. But he has always been different with her, yielding to her choices and respecting them. Especially after…

Well, since _ after. _

“I have to go. I have to do this.” She swallows back her own tears, clears her throat and and takes a calming breath. Finn’s hand finally drops from her shoulder.

The entire universe seems to shift around her as she walks closer and closer to the wood. The sun sets, the sky turns black and glittering as she approaches the edge of the trees, and when she pauses to look back at her friend one last time she is not surprised to see that he is there no longer, hidden safely away Out Where She Used to Be. For she is in  _ other _ now.

_ Be with me. _

Rey steps past the first line of silent, still trees.

Pops of pain burst in her mind and there is the tick-tock of a clock and she stumbles, hand reaching out to grasp something to balance herself.

She swears she feels the touch of a steady hand underneath a leather glove brush across her fingers for but a moment. Something warm blooms in the Force around her at the contact, as if the touch had been a  _ hello _ . A  _ I’m-glad-you’re-here _ .

Her vision clears; her hand is pressed against the bark of tree and all around her are rows and rows of more wood, as if she is deep inside the heart of the forest already. There is a brightening glow around her hand and she suspects if she were to simply press forward--

_ Be with me. _

Her heart hums with the Force moving violently all around her. Calling, beckoning, whispering, demanding.

She releases a shaky breath. Rey came into this place to die and be reborn with him. To find the best timeline. To bring balance and make things right.

Ben calls to her again.

_ Be with me. _

“Always,” she answers, and allows herself to tip forward into the tree.

**

She is swept away, reshaped and remade and awoken.

**

Rey stands in the throne room, her growing impatience darkening her mood further and further. Grandfather will do this sometimes to teach her about waiting. She has been standing here for hours now, waiting on his instructions.

And finally he laughs. He is always laughing at her, always on the edge of mocking. “Are you more concerned with serving your own whims than the whims of the Dark Side, granddaughter?”

Rey Palpatine schools her expression into nothing, determined not to give anything away and knowing she is probably failing. “Never, grandfather.”

He nods down at her from where he’s sitting up on his elaborate perch. A perch that is one day supposed to belong to her.

The Emperor is not fully convinced by her answer, but he no longer wishes for her to be in his presence. “Find the last Jedi and bring him here to me. It is time.”

_ Not again _ , is Rey’s first feeling. The second is a burst of nervous apprehension and excitement that she doesn’t understand. So she shoves it down, refusing to acknowledge its existence. Instead she sinks to one knee and lowers her head, feeling the flicker of Palpatine’s approval at her open obedience. 

“Of course, grandfather.”

She exits the throne room in a purposeful stride. She makes it out of Palpatine’s compound before allowing a scowl to cross over her features.

Rey quickly opens the connection, the one she has painstakingly kept hidden from her grandfather since it forged last year. He would punish her severely if he found out, would call her weak for not finding a way to destroy it.

She opens the connection and sends out her message quickly.  _ Run run, Jedi. I am coming for you. _

Ben Solo returns her message immediately, sounding delighted. It only infuriates her further.

_ Looking forward to it, sweetheart. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don't know a lot about The World Between Worlds in canon. It first appears in Rebels, and is accessed through a painting/temple. But it was inspired by the Wood between Worlds in the _Narnia_ books, and I've decided to apply that here. 
> 
> As Rey is searching for her and Ben's happy ending, every timeline we encounter will be angsty until we hit the last one. I do plan to kill Rey off in one of these alternate timelines, but please be assured that this story WILL have a happy ending. Also, this fic in theory is **completely canon compliant and could feasibly happen after TROS**. Kinda fun to think about. 
> 
> I have [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_) and [tumblr](https://likeadove.tumblr.com/). I'm a mess over TROS so come be sad with me.
> 
> If you liked let me know?


	2. The First Timeline, part one

Rey is not quite ten when she is found by the Emperor. 

She remembers little of the day she’s brought in front of her grandfather for the first time. But she does remember that she had been trembling. Not frightened, per se. But apprehensive. Something inside of her had kept whispering  _ be careful _ .

She remembers thinking the Emperor looked like a ghoul. And that he had not tried to embrace her.

She remembers him insisting that her name is Kira.

And she remembers vowing to always refer to herself as Rey regardless, at least in her own mind.

  
  


**

She is not quite twelve when her grandfather discovers her studying combat tricks used by Jedi.

He had been watching her spar against one of the formidable Knights of Ren that serve under his command. Rey would not be allowed to leave until she’s managed to strike her opponent down at least once. It does not matter that her head barely reaches the Knight’s shoulder. She is a  _ Palpatine _ , grandfather says. And that makes her better.  _ Special _ . 

Rey doesn’t really understand how a name gives her more power. She has yet to best a Knight, a fact that feeds into her grandfather’s growing contempt toward her.

But she had read about a technique she’d found in an old stack of scrolls grandfather had order Pryde to have brought to her to study.

_ Force Valor _ .

It could be tremendously useful in combat, helping a Force user up their dexterity, strength, and mental clarity. And all Rey really had to do to access it was focus. And who cared if it was a Light Sider technique? Couldn’t she truly serve her grandfather to the best of her ability if she learned as many techniques as she could?

Her movements against the Knight are sharper as she hones in on the Force, her blows landing much harder than they ought. The Knight is beginning to lose ground against her and Rey can sense it, her victory so close and palpable she feels as if she can reach out and touch it with her fingertips.

The Knight slips and Rey grins—

Until a growing darkness seeps all the concentration and thrill from her spirit.

_ Granddaughter— _

He is in her head.  _ Oh god _ , the Emperor is in her head, taking and twisting until he rips the knowledge of  _ Force Valor _ right from the depths of her mind. He leaves her behind nothing but an impression of the technique, like a food she knows she’s eaten before but has forgotten the taste of.

_ Is this  _ **_Light_ ** _ I sense in you? _

She tries to reason with him, but there is never any reasoning with grandfather. The Emperor laughs as he punishes her, bringing her to her knees and she shrieks and screams and weeps with the pain of it.

**

She is not quite thirteen when the Emperor senses a force sensitive amongst the legion of stormtroopers who serve him and the Final Order.

The boy is about her age, Rey is able to surmise quickly enough. He looks appropriately nervous as he’s brought before the Emperor and the Princess, as grandfather has started calling her.

Rey can’t help but inwardly scoff at the title. A princess is a position she feels the  _ least _ connected to.

“FN-2187,” the Emperor calls from his throne when the boy is brought to a stop in front of him. “A can sense it inside of you, a yearning for power.”

And Rey can sense it too...sort of.

What’s coming off this boy is less a yearning for power and more a yearning for belonging. But if Rey has discovered at least one certain thing about her grandfather these past few years, it is that he knows just how to manipulate one’s own wants and desires for his gain.

It was how he managed to get her to stay by his side day in and day out. He knew she hated him; but the Emperor also knew that, above all, Rey had wanted a family. And he was the only family she’d ever had.

She watches, face schooled in an apathetic expression, as FN-2187 swears fealty to the Emperor. Just like she did years ago.

Rey wonders if this former stormtrooper will come to regret it.

Grandfather waves a hand, indicating for Rey to step forward. “You will begin training with your Princess tomorrow.” He laughs, a sound completely devoid of real amusement. “You will not let me down, my boy.”

The next day in training she gives him a black eye and he gives her a split lick. They’re  _ something _ after that. Companions in the deepest sense of the word. Two lost children handed a purpose and a power they’re not sure they want but are both willing to make the best of. Because they have nothing else.

She calls him Finn and it becomes a secret between the two of them.

**

She is not quite sixteen when she kills for the first time in grandfather’s name.

The old man is about as useful as an old sock when it comes to getting information. He is noncooperative and, worst of all, seems bored when Rey brings her newly minted lightsaber up over her head and brings it down on top of him, just like the Emperor had instructed.

Finn starts coughing at the scent of singed flesh and Rey brings her cowl up to cover her nose so that she too can escape the unpleasant smell.

“Do we return to Starkiller then?” Finn asks, not remarking on the fact that Rey has just made her first kill. And that it was an unarmed old man. They’re merely following out grandfather’s orders, after all. 

It’s nothing.

It’s nothing until that very night, when Rey tries to find a moment of rest in her quarters. It’s nothing until all she can think about are the clothes the old man had been wearing, the weary sound of his voice. The way there hadn’t been nearly as much blood as she thought there would be.

She reaches out for Finn, who sleeps in the quarters next to her own. His Force signature is also a mix of upset and turmoil. Just like her’s.

They awake the next morning and get back to business as usual, never speaking about what had happened the day before.

**

She is not quite nineteen when she meets Ben Solo for the first time.

She is on Takadona, tracking down a droid that supposedly has the coordinates needed to find Luke Skywalker. He’s been missing for years, leaving his foolhardy nephew and sister to head a Resistance against the Final Order.

Rey had been able to sense him rather quickly. He doesn’t seem to care at all about hiding his Force signature from detection, a fact that sets Rey on edge. Ben Solo is either incredibly formidable or insurmountably stupid.

She tracks him through the forest, hood up and covering most of her face so that she won’t be seen. The Emperor has used his Princess sparingly throughout the years in an attempt to keep her under wraps until the time is right. It wouldn’t do to broadcast her face to a solid chunk of the Resistance.

Deeper and deeper she follows him, growing more and more agitated by how he  _ just _ manages to keep ahead of her when—

She rounds a corner and a blaster bolt skims her bicep. Holding back a hiss, she slides to a stop, immediately tapping into the physical pain like grandfather had taught her, using it to help bolster her energy, to cloak her—

That’s when she truly sees Ben Solo, the last Jedi, for the first time. He is younger than she expected, and taller. She’s not sure she likes the fact that she has to crane her neck a little to regard all of him.

Her lightsaber is in her hand and activated in seconds. She starts stalking toward him, taking heed of the blood seeping into her clothes from the wound on her arm.

And Ben Solo is just...standing there watching her with a dumbfounded expression on his face. “You’re the Princess,” he breathes and Rey freezes because he shouldn’t know that—

“Kira Palpatine, the lost granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine.” He props a lazy hand on his hip, small smirk forming on his mouth. “You’re not what I was expecting.”

This rankles her for some reason. She dashes forward, red lightsaber held at the level of his throat. He looks infuriatingly unperturbed. “And what is that supposed to mean?!”

Solo shrugs, not looking the least bit threatened by her. He jerks his head toward her injured arm. “Want me to heal that for you?” His voice is all earnestness and Rey could  _ scream _ . 

Doesn’t he know she’s  _ killed _ people? Doesn’t he know she is  _ not _ like him? That they’re enemies? That she’s—

His sudden soft smile disarms her enough that she lowers her saber ever so slightly. Unbeknownst to her she must briefly lower her mental defenses as well because he steps into her space, smile gentling even further.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll keep your secret.”

Remembering herself, she raises her weapon again. “I  _ have _ no secrets, you—“

“I know your true name. So long, Rey. For now.” Quick as lightning he blinds her with a burst of bright energy. When the dizziness fades he is gone.

  
  


**

Rey opens the doors to Finn’s quarters with the Force abruptly, not bothering to acknowledge the twinge of annoyance coming from the individual sitting in the middle of the room.

A book comes soaring toward her head out of nowhere; Rey easily dodges it.

“The Force was trying to show me something.” Finn stands and motions for the book to direct itself back to it’s shelf. His movements are graceful and lithe and not for the first time Rey is relieved that he is her partner throughout all of this...this…

This  _ nonsense _ involving Ben Solo.

“Grandfather has tasked me to bring him the last Jedi.”

Finn’s serious expression remains briefly before it cracks into a smirk. “Looking forward to seeing your boyfriend again?”

Rey swings, forgetting her composure for a moment. Finn ducks with a laugh, not in the least bit bothered by her sudden aggression. He begins gathering up the few sparse belongings he has, making his next statement redundant. “I’m assuming I’m coming with you?”

Rey gives a stiff nod. “Grandfather expects it.” It’s a lie, but a casual one. Grandfather would probably prefer she accomplish this alone. But Rey knows she cannot capture the last Jedi by herself, a weakness she bends over backwards to hide from him.

She hides more things from her grandfather than she ever reveals to him.

Finn catches her lie with ease—a side effect of having been by each other’s side every day for the past six years. He is her family in all but blood. He turns and looks at her over his shoulder. 

At one point Finn’s gaze might have been described as ‘kind’. But it has hardened as each year has passed, eyes taking on more and more of a reddish tinge. Just like Rey’s. 

But he does not comment on her lie, instead nodding and swinging his small bag of belongings over his shoulder. He steps up to her, jaw hard. “I won’t let you be weak, Kira. I’ll kill Solo myself if I have to.”

**

She is not sure how she’s managed to hide their bond from Finn and grandfather over the past year.

Sometimes she wonders if the Light side of the Force is working in her favor after all, after all this time. Rey has been studying the Sith ways of the Force for years and yet some of the things she’s managed to accomplish have been unexplainable.

She is sitting on top of her bed and staring out into nothing, deep in thought, when she feels the presence of the last Jedi take up a spot on the other side of the room.

“I don't want to speak to you now,” she says, dejection evident in her voice.

His footsteps are heavy as he approaches her and there’s a shuddering of peace in the Force when the edge of her mattress dips with the phantom weight of him. 

Rey Palpatine does not understand what her bond with Ben Solo means. Just that it couldn’t have possibly come from the dark.

“I don’t want to speak to you  _ ever _ ,” she snaps, bottom lip trembling as the anguish of what she must do tomorrow crashes over her in waves. She knows exactly what will happen when she brings the last Jedi before her grandfather. And to intervene and prevent it would disrupt and blow apart every aspect of her life.

She is not sure she has the courage to do it, to turn her back on Finn and grandfather, the only family she has.

And Ben— _ Ben Ben Ben _ —always seems to understand exactly how she’s feeling without her having to express it through words. He reaches out to touch her and she shrinks away from his hand, eyes stinging and throat thick.

“You don’t have to land on Pasaana tomorrow, Rey. You don’t.”

“Yes I do,” she spits out harshly. She brings her knees up to her chest, curls in on herself. “You don’t understand. I have to do this, I have to bring you to him. If I don’t—If I don’t—”

_ The Emperor will destroy everything I’ve ever thought to care about.  _

She would be sacrificing so much just to spare one Jedi’s life.

“You could join me instead, Rey.” This time his touch does land on her shoulder, the warmth from his hand bringing her comfort, despite how much she wishes it didn’t. 

This isn’t the first time he’s offered her his hand. She suspects he’ll do it forever and ever until the day he becomes one with the Force, as if the joy of her potentially choosing to be with him  _ finally _ far outweighs the rejection he feels each time when she inevitably doesn’t.

Rey does not want to weep over him, however. Breaths coming out shakily, she attempts to shrug his hand off of her shoulder. But Solo holds on, scooting even closer to her.

“I suppose, at the very least, I will get to see you tomorrow. In person.”

The tears that slip down her cheeks embarrass her, but Solo wipes them away without comment. “Please.” It is shameful, what she is doing. Pleading with a Jedi. But she cannot help it. This is her weakness, one that she must shoulder and bear for the rest of her life. “Please run. Please don’t be on Pasaana tomorrow.”

And Solo, goddamn him, simply leans forward and touches his forehead to her own. “I will never willingly run from you, Rey.”

He is the only person who speaks her own name aloud.

The bond hums in her ears with light and something else, something she can’t really put a name to because it is far beyond her own understanding. But it’s written all over his face. She wonders if it is also written on her own.

And then Solo is gone. But the bed is still warm where he had been sitting.

**

Rey wakes the next morning and dawns her armor, making no comment to Finn as they exit their quarters and fall into step beside each other.

They’ll land on Pasaana within the hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos on the prologue! It's very reassuring to know that y'all are willing to go on this journey with me and that I'm not alone in wanting to fix the NONSENSE that was TROS. I'm still walking around in a state of disbelief that that was the ending we got -.-
> 
> Interestingly enough I think this will be the shortest timeline? Probably because it's arguably the saddest. Not gonna lie, am very into the concept of dark-sider Finn training with Palpatine!Rey. I like to think they're besties in every universe, just like Ben and Rey are soulmates in every universe.
> 
> I have [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_) and [tumblr](https://likeadove.tumblr.com/). Come grieve over TROS with me.
> 
> If you liked let me know?


	3. The First Timeline, part two

Sharpness erupts behind Rey’s eyes when their shuttle comes to a smooth landing on Pasaana.

The Emperor wedged himself in the back of her head long, long ago, taunting her and instructing her and bringing her  _ pain _ .

Rey is used to it. The pain. It’s the only reason why she doesn’t fall to her knees when the ramp is lowered and she is exposed to the heat and sand of the desert planet.

A sympathetic hand lands on her shoulder, and Rey glances to her right to see Finn eyeing her with understanding. The Emperor placed himself in his head a long time ago as well. They are his most prized subjects and they both suffer with the burden of his horrible expectations.

_ Use your pain, granddaughter. _

The words echo throughout her mind.

_ Now bring me the last Jedi. _

Rey shudders with his blatant demand, face pinched with concentration as she and Finn step into the sun, the black armor they’re both wearing already soaking up the heat. 

She sucks in a deep breath, trying to take a precious moment to balance herself, to balance the light and dark warring inside of her. The Force feels restless all around her and she fidgets, shifting her weight from one foot to the other while she and Finn head toward the Festival of Ancestors. Their Resistance informant said that the rebel members would be here.

And Ben had all but confirmed it last night.

She’s in the middle of gesturing to Finn about wear they should investigate first when she  _ feels him _ .

Ben Solo is nearby. Quite close, actually.

His light explodes in her head, but it is not a painful presence like grandfather’s. Right now it is gentle and calming, as if Ben can sense her inner turmoil and is trying to fix it.

She whirls around, frantically searching the faces of everyone around her, trying desperately to spot him before Finn does. Because if Finn spots him first…

Rey isn’t one hundred percent sure who would win in that duel. But either result would lead in infinite heartbreak for her. She simply cannot allow that to happen. She cannot lose—

The dark snaps inside her chest, reminding her that she is a  _ Palpatine _ , that she’s  _ special _ . That the Emperor is the one who took her in when she was nothing more than a feral desert rat, who fed her and gave her a safe place to sleep. He had her trained in the Force. She would not have come into her power without him.

Right?

But then there is the light in her chest too, and the light in her head. The light from Ben.

_ Rey. _

Ben’s voice is inside her very being and it makes her feel  _ so good _ .

So much better than anything the dark has ever made her feel, has ever brought to her.

“Kira!”

The sound of her other name snaps her back jerk reality and suddenly she is fully aware that she’s still in Pasaana, still hunting the last Jedi.

Who has decided to make his location extremely obvious by jumping up and down and waving his arms, clearly trying to get her attention.

Rey could kill him.

“What an idiot,” Finn spits. And then his lightsaber is activated, the deep red beam making the festival goers around them step back in apprehension. Then Finn takes off in a sprint toward Ben, weapon clutched in his hand and ready.

Rey takes off after him. She and Finn used to race each other all the time as kids. Rey always won.

This time is no exception.

She trips him up in moments, sending him sprawling to the ground, lightsaber deactivating and rolling several feet away from him.

Finn looks up at her with rage and fury in his scarlet tinted eyes. “What are you doing, Kira?!” He scrambles to his feet, calling his saber back into his hand with the Force. He doesn’t anticipate Rey igniting one of her double bladed sabers and holding it up to his throat.

“Ben Solo is  _ mine _ ,” she snarls, seething.

That’s when she gives herself away, though she doesn’t realize it yet. Not because she viciously claimed the last Jedi, but because she used his name and not his title.

Finn bares his teeth aggressively, chest heaving as he glares at her. But he does not continue in his pursuit, and when Rey looks up she sees the last Jedi not fifty feet away, watching the situation in front of him with curious eyes.

Rey breaks out into a run and a grinning Ben Solo disappears into the crowd.

**

She follows him and follows him, never once stopping to question his motives or why she is intent to be where he is. Rey simply follows Ben.

His glow in her head is reassuring, and she finds that despite everything she trusts him.

She trusts a Jedi.

Rey can already feel the disgust and fury coming from grandfather. She has hidden her bond with the Jedi well, but she knows instinctively that whatever happens today will change absolutely everything.

Solo leads her into an empty tent, a spare shelter for the festival goers to be sure.

She rushes into the tent after him, and she’s going to ignite her saber and take him down, bring him to grandfather.

Rey  _ is _ .

Except she doesn’t. Ben’s light is too lovely in her head, and Rey’s own light in her chest stirs because of it. It coos at her, beckoning.

Turning back to the light in and of itself is not a difficult act. There is a relief that comes with using the Force for purity only. It’s the repercussions of turning back to the light that’s been keeping Rey from fully committing.

She simply has too much to lose. And she cannot throw it all away for a Jedi, it goes against her whole family legacy.

But then Ben Solo reaches out and cups her cheek, and Rey cannot remember when he had stepped so close to her, when he had brushed the hood of her cloak back to better expose her head. He gazes her as if she is the answer to everything.

Rey understands. Somehow Ben Solo feels like the answer to everything for her too.

“Rey, come with me.”

His palm is so warm against her cheek.

Confusion and uncertainty and pain and  _ anger _ churn inside her, and suddenly Rey cannot keep her stoic expression fixed on her face. Not in front of Ben Solo, who lives inside her head and calls her by her real name.

She could ignite her saber and stab him with no effort whatsoever, the dark whispers to her.  _ He is so foolishly close,  _ someone who sounds like her grandfather implores inside her head.  _ It would be so easy. _

The last Jedi steps closer to her, presses his forehead gently against her own. Rey has never been touched this way by another human, has never been handled with such tenderness and respect before.

The tears leak out before she can stop them. 

“Ben,” she gasps, and he kisses her.

In that moment Rey is nothing but light. The Force hums and sings all around her and inside her. The joy she feels is so bright that there is simply no room for the dark, every shadow inside of her is chased away.

Rey has never kissed anyone before, but she tilts her head up and stands on her tippy-toes to return his kiss, clutching at his shirt with two fists.

Rey is going to turn.

Rey is going to turn to the light. 

Then everything explodes around them.

**

When Rey comes to she finds that she is back on her ship in the medical wing, Finn perched on the edge of a cot. He senses the flicker in her Force signature when she awakens. He fixes his gaze on her, and it is hungry and sad and even more scarlet than before.

She can sense that Ben is nearby, but his light in her head has dwindled. He is either asleep or unconscious. But still she asks. “Where is he?”

“In chains.”

Rey does not care anymore about pretending. She weeps.

Finn does not comfort her, but he does not judge her either. The sadness in his gaze deepens. However, he does not wait for her to stop crying before he starts talking. “I can sense your bond. I couldn’t before because I was never around you both in close physical proximity.” He works his jaw. “But when you two are near each other it is undeniable.”

Rey begins to tremble.

“Kira, The Emperor will sense it immediately.” His eyes sweep over her face. “You must stand with your grandfather.”

A fresh wave of tears fall as new dread sinks deep into her stomach. Finn is right. Grandfather will find out. There will be no hiding her bond with Ben Solo from him.

And Rey already knows exactly what he’ll ask of her. It is simply the way things are done when one serves the dark side.

Grandfather will expect her to kill Ben.

Finn takes her hand, making her jolt. But he only grasps it tighter, trying to make certain that he has her full attention. He swallows, gaze showing too much emotion to her in that moment. Finn is sad, and desperate. It clicks for Rey in that moment. It clicks so easily and finitely. Finn is struggling with the light and the dark just as much as she is.

He brings her hand close to his chest, over his heart. He would never say so aloud, but his feelings for her in that moment are evident. Rey is Finn’s only family, the one true consistency in his life. And he will do anything to protect it.

His hand squeezes hers. “Peace is a lie, there is only passion.”

He expects her to repeat it back to him, to say it with him. It is the Sith code, the code they’ve been following loyally since they were children. 

Finn squeezes her hand again. “Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.” He pauses. “Please, Kira, say it with me.” The desperation in his voice splits her apart.

Rey begins to weep again. It’s too much, everything is simply  _ too much _ and she feels as if she might burst apart, burst into a million pieces and float away. A part of her wishes for it, wishes the Force would sweep her away into nothing.

“Through power I gain victory.” Finn’s voice is resolute, and he won’t stop staring at her, begging her with his eyes. “Kira, say it with me.”

But Rey refuses to say the code with him.

So her oldest friend, her only true family, lets her hand drops from his grip as he finishes the code alone, knowing that Rey has turned her back from the Sith. From the Emperor. From Finn.

“Through victory my chains are broken.”

Finn stands, still staring down at her. But his eyes are no longer imploring. He looks at Rey as if he know longer knows her. And she supposes he doesn’t.

“The Force shall set me free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't turn out remotely like my brain originally envisioned?? Like Ben and Rey were gonna have an actual conversation about things in that damn tent. But then they were both like "We kiss???? Yes WE KISS!!" Characters man, what can you do.
> 
> I hope this chapter hit the emotional beats it was supposed to. These alternate timelines are fun, but they can be emotionally intense.
> 
> I have [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_) and [tumblr](https://likeadove.tumblr.com/). Come say hi! 
> 
> If you liked let me know?


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